Gone Are Those Hair Metal Days (The Side Effects of Chemo)

I call her mini-me

Ok, so maybe those hair metal days were gone about 15 years ago, but STILL. What if Bohemian Rhapsody all of a sudden just starting playing, I at least had a choice! Sorry, Wayne, sorry Garth, you’ll just have to party on without me.

Don’t Know What You Got, Till It’s Gone

I didn’t know how much I got until it started falling out. And although a few people, including myself, thought that maybe, just maybe my mane would prevail, as predicted about 2 weeks after the first chemo treatment, more and more strands of hair escaped and retreated to safer havens such as the floor and shower drain.

To infinity and beyond!

It was slow at first, but then the hair started clumping together—as if clinging onto each other for dear life. They didn’t know what they did that was so wrong.

After literally showering in my hair a few times, I couldn’t take it anymore and the clippers were summoned.

Searching for That Dream Weave-errrrr

Before the buzzing hair ceremony, I decided that I should probably check out some wigs—maybe it would be fun! Maybe it would lift my spirits! At that point, I still had enough hair that all I needed was a head band to cover the patches.

I went to a fancy looking place nearby. It looked like they provided services as well—wig fitting, hair growth solutions etc. I mustered up the guts to go inside but the door was locked so had to ring the doorbell.

Fancy Hair Dude: Oh bonjour! The store is not open, we only take des rendez-vous.
Me: Uh-huh. (awkward silence)
Fancy Hair Dude: Wellllll, voila! My business card so you can call for a rendez-vous….but if I may say something, I don’t think you need my services! hon hon hon
Me: heh heh, merci!

I grabbed the card and ran away.

Ok, it was probably better to just go to one of those all-year costume stores, maybe I wouldn’t get questioned!

I found a wig / hats / sunglasses store in the hood. I tried on a couple of hats which were totally rad and then asked the store dude to try on a few wigs.

Store Dude: Are you going to a party?
Me: Yes, yes a party…….NOT!

I gave up and went to the one place where I knew they would understand, the hospital! I spoke to a volunteer at the hospital who brought me to see the wigs they had in stock.

I ripped through them, but to my dismay, they were all old lady wigs! She picked up one and told me to try it on. I looked at it—it was short, and curly but the black hair had white hairs in it! She insisted and I didn’t want to be rude, so I put it on. I looked at myself in the mirror…I looked like one of the Golden Girls! I managed to politely haul ass outta there with a semi-decent, not-so-old-lady wig.

Only YOU can prevent forest fires! — Janet

I now have a couple of wigs, scarves, head bands, hats etc. and it’s been fun mixing and matching. Though it does take much longer to get ready now:

My sister: Are you ready yet?!?!
Me: I have to comb my wig!!!

And as I get ready, it feels like I’m putting on a disguise. Some of my favs include, Janet the park ranger and Meadow the hippie.

1 year later…

I’ll admit, I do miss my real hair. On a positive note though, it’s supposed to grow back like baby hair and most people say, grows back much nicer! However, I haven’t lost all of it (yet?), and the other day, it seemed like the hair still on my head has… grown?!? WTF, you mean I’m not going to have fabulous hair like Halle Berry’s?!?!?

I’m ready for the part of the movie where the caption reads “1 year later” and the scene is me, healthy and happy, long dark hair flowing in the wind. End scene.